Guess How Much I Love You

The post below is a note written by Bjork for baby Afton. Thank you to all who are continuing to keep Lindsay and Bjork in your thoughts and prayers. – Jenna

Our sweet Afton was born on December 31st and died peacefully in the arms of his mom in the early morning hours of January 1st.

Our grief is deep and wraps around us. It seeps through our skin and into our hearts. We feel it not just because of how hard this is, but also because of how good it was for the few short hours that Afton was with us.

We held him on our chest. We felt his heartbeat. We whispered in his ear how much we love him and always will. We gave him a bath and wrapped him in a little blanket. We told him about his family. His mom and dad. His grandma and grandpa. His aunts and uncles. We read him the book Guess How Much I Love You.

He gave me so much in the few hours that he was here. He gave me the gift of being a dad and showed me how much I love it. He gave me the chance to hold my son and tell him a story. He gave my parents a grandson.

And he gave me an image that will forever be imprinted on my mind; his mom, after being awake for 36 hours, after having her body opened up and her baby taken out, sitting on a hospital chair in a NICU room lit only by the light from monitors and flashing equipment, surrounded by crushing fear and grief but using all her strength to hold it back long enough to create a 1 lbs 3 oz pocket of peace where she could comfort her baby and make sure he heard his mom’s voice as he left this world…

“Afton, sweet Afton. It’s okay baby. Your mom and dad are here. We love you so much. We love you so much Afton.”

It was in that moment, with Afton taking his last few breaths as he laid on Lindsay’s chest, that I felt a deep and profound sense of wholeness and holiness. Never again will something be this hard and this good.

Lindsay: Forever and ever.

Afton: Can you guess how much I love you? I love you right up to the moon and back.

During this time, several readers have asked if there’s an organization or cause that would be best to give to in Afton’s name. Here’s a quick note from Lindsay and Bjork for where to give if you feel led. Click here to reach the donation page:

This experience has given us a profound appreciation for the meaning of family. We know that there are many others, both here and around the world, whose families have also been broken by tragedy.

We hope to honor Afton’s memory by pouring into the lives of hurting children who don’t have families of their own to care for them. Bjork and I lived and worked at the Children’s Shelter of Cebu orphanage for one year and saw firsthand the loving and lifesaving ways that children are cared for in times when they are most vulnerable.

Thank you for being a family to these children with us, and for doing so in memory of our precious son Afton.

Bjork, Lindsay and Afton

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